I love reading and the lovely people at Random House Canada have graced me with tons of books to review. I finished reading “The Wife’s Tale” by Lori Lansens in 48 hrs. I am working on the review of the book and will have something for you next week. Great book, boy is the main character ever fitting for broken heel diaries.

Stay tuned !

While watching Grey’s Anatomy last night, I got inspired by something I heard on the show, that my cousin also shares with me in times of need. According to the Kubler-Ross model there are 5 stages of grief people experience when dealing with grief and loss of a loved one.  The model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. Although I am not currently going through neither, I think these are the same stages we go through when ending a meaningful relationship with a loved one. Knowing this helped me understand the emotional roller coaster I was going through, when I went through my break up. I thought I would share them in hopes that they could help you too.

Here they are:

• Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
• Anger (why is this happening to me?)
• Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
• Depression (I don’t care anymore)
• Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)

In knowing this, I hope that the next time you find yourself in a moment of grief or experiencing the loss of a loved one, these 5 stages can prove to you that YOU WILL GET OVER IT ! Things do get back to normal, sometimes you have to allow yourself to go through the motions, allow yourself to feel the emotions that are inside of you. Just know that things always get better.

Have you ever experienced this in a particular situation in your life? Did you know you were going through different stages?

After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

-Sophia Loren

I have made many mistakes in my life, I like the fact that Sophia Loren refers to this as “the process of self-discovery”. That’s exactly what I feel that it was, taking risks to live my life to the fullest. As she tries to get across in this quote, instead of beating ourselves up for making mistakes, we should be cognizant of the fact that we are living our life to the full extent. That can never be a mistake. In doing so, we learn the essence of who we truly are.

In my life I have encountered a lot of things in my past that were hard for me to get over. I am sure everyone else has as well. In order to move forward – I put them all in a box and kept moving. I didn’t do a good job of addressing the problems though. So as well all know, if you don’t address the main issue, it’s only a matter of time til it comes back to haunt you. Sometimes no matter how great I think I am doing, when I go home at night I sit and think about the past. So much so that it seems to be in the present. Almost as though time had never past.

I sit there and start analyzing certain things that happened years ago: “Why did he/she do this?” “Why did that have to happen?” “What does it mean when…?” Never ending list of questions, all having to do with situations that have occurred in the past.

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Before we can work on the problems, we have to fix our souls. Our souls are broken in this nation.

-Michelle Obama

Nothing could be closer to the truth. How many times have we tried to take on all these problems, trying to fix everything before working on ourselves? I have countless times. The truth is until we “fix our souls” or work on ourselves first, we cannot help or fix anything else. Once we are at peace with ourselves, at one with our person can we start to make things better in other areas.

There comes a time when we each come to the realization that “he” the OMGEEE, he’s so perfect, can’t live without him, prince charming is indeed far from being “the one”. You know the one, he always seems to have the right words but somehow, they never quite add up. Tells you everything you want to hear, maybe its honest but yet its always his altered version of the truth. Always leaves you walking away with the impression that you’ve just been spun in a circle 100 times. Feeling dizzy and confused, none of it making sense.

You force yourself to believe that maybe it’s you. Maybe being so ambitious, career minded and independent has made him think that you didn’t need him. I mean, you get everything else done on your own.  You overcome all the obstacles in other areas of your life. Why should love be any different?

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