Written by krissy October 29th, 2009 | Published in Broken Heel Diaries | 4 Comments
I have broken up with friends in the past, many times actually. It doesn’t help that I have moved a lot in my life, which has forced me to let go of many friends in my life. Sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it was their fault. Regardless, it sucks.
My best friend Naomi and I had a falling out once. We actually stopped talking for about 2 years. When it first happened I cried, I felt alone. My sidekick was gone. I don’t even know how we broke it off. All I know is we weren’t talking anymore and there was a huge empty void in my life. Impossible to find someone to fill the shoes of your best friend again.
I tried to act like I didn’t care, when mutual friends would ask about her. I tried to act like I didn’t even remember she was gone. One day close to my birthday, to my great surprise she called me. I was so shocked, I didn’t know why she was calling, my guard was still up. Turns out she wanted to know what I was doing for my birthday because she wanted to be there. Next thing I know, 30 minutes later she shows up at my work and we caught up. It was as if nothing had changed. As thought time had not past. Now that is a true friendship. That breakup showed me that she is truly a valuable friend of mine. I consider her a sister. We have been through some difficult times together, she has been there for me in times where I thought I was alone.
Have you had those kind of breakup with friends before that are temporary? Then go back to normal?
My most recent break up with a friend happened last year, I had been friends with her since highschool. While we were in highschool we would go through moments of not speaking also. Sometimes, I felt she made me feel inferior as a person. Anywho, last year we took a trip together, and everything went downhill when I felt that she was placing a guy above our friendship. A guy who she had met for 2 weeks. Long story short, her loyalty was questioned when it became his word against mine. In my opinion, I would never put a guy before any of my girls, especially if I just met the guy. Anyway, she blew this argument out of proportion citing that I never got a long with any of her guys. Which made absolutely no sense to me since, who cares about them our friendship is what I cared about.
Anyway, we took some time apart and said that we would speak at a later date. It’s been a year and we still have never resolved anything. You wanna know something… I don’t miss her. After going through that little break with Naomi and seeing how much of a void she left in my life as my best friend, I didn’t have this void with this girl. It was almost like “yeah I kinda miss you as a friend but OH WELL” , if our friendship wasn’t worth a resolution then what can I do. Keep it moving. I dont’ think our friendship was as real as I thought it was, otherwise we would have resolved it by now.
What do you think?
I agree, some people are meant to be a part of your life forever…others are just passing through and even the people that are just passing through will help you to discover something about yourself and perhaps that alone was the purpose of that short term friendship.
Thank you for your comment Carolyn. Have you had to break up with a friend? How did you end it? Why did you end it?
I had a friend I considered a best friend once, but i had to end it because she was not real. I can be a bit stubborn and I always need someone who is strong enough to tell me ‘no’ when I am messing up.
I had to make a decision once that turned out to harm me at the end, but my so-called friend encouraged me to go ahead anyway. After i got into a jam, of course other people criticized me for the decision I had made, but what was worse was, she was criticizing the most! Why couldn’t she just tell me from the beginning instead of letting me go on and get myself harmed??
I am very upfront and I called her and told her how i felt. We haven’t spoken since. I took a lesson from that experience though; when you go through a difficult time, that’s when the real people reveal themselves.
Bella, I know oh so well how that goes. Sorry to hear that you lost a friend, sometimes its for the best. I am that way as well, I am upfront with my friends and only keep friends around that can be the same way. So true when you say, “when you go through a difficult time, that’s when the real people reveal themselves”, OH SO TRUE !!! Glad to hear that you were able to learn that lesson and carry it on with you. Thank you for reading this post.