Written by krissy November 2nd, 2009 | Published in Broken Heel Diaries | 10 Comments
Have you ever felt unappreciated at work? I am sure we all have. Lately, more than ever I have started to feel unappreciated at work. I am a hard worker, overachiever always over delivering. At first, I felt that over delivering was a great thing. It was almost a way for me to measure my success, almost as a dare to myself to see if I could set a new bar for myself. I thrived off of it. My employer loved it ! My supervisor appreciates it and encourages me constantly. However, I don’t think anyone else does. They have almost become used to me over delivering and exceeding their expectations. I don’t even feel that I am being treated like a human being anymore, I feel like I am being treated like a machine. No one asks how I am doing, how the workload that is being given to me is affecting me. No one bothers to ask about my professional advancement goals. Nothing, I am now considered a machine that yields results “Need something done, sure dump it on Krissy, she’ll turn that around for you faster and better than anyone”.
This affects my motivation at work a great deal. Have you ever felt this way? What did you do? Some days, I feel like walking into my VP’s office, and having a conversation with him, but I also feel that until I can construct my thoughts cohesively without any emotions that I should refrain from doing that. Other days, I just feel that I have had enough, I feel that I know my worth as I have set these bars for myself constantly through my career. I am confident that I could go somewhere else, and gain more appreciation for my worth.
I am tired of fighting for what I think I deserve at work. I am tired of being looked over for newly created positions that are in complete alignment with my post. I have had enough of not being invited to private company events when I yield a great deal of revenue for the company. When I see the people that have been invited over me, I grow resentful because I know that I have worked my butt off. Not to say that they haven’t but I feel that I deserve it.
I know that my time here is nearing an end, I clearly can’t leave without a transition to my plan B. I can’t wait for that day, until then I pray every night that this doesn’t eat me up too much and suck away my drive, ambition and passion.
Any of you going through, or have gone through the same thing? What has helped you through times like this?
" -krissy
My husband and I own and operate our own company, having to work together and live together can be very stressful! It seems no matter how hard you work or how much you put into it, it’s never enough. If one thing goes wrong nobody remembers the other things that went right before that. Our oldest son did work for us and I’m certain that he too felt this way because I watched him go from putting his whole heart and soul into it to just trying to make it through the day. He has since found another job. Which is a better situation for all of us because it can rip a family apart…he and my husband are still barley speaking to eachother, it’s very hard! If you have the opportunity to go to work somewhere else that you believe you’d be apprtiated more, take it…it’s even more important than money! Until then, try to remember you’re busting your butt not “for your boss” but because that is part of who you are and it is a very fine quality, rather they are wise enough to see it and show thier apprtiation or not don’t forget to pat yourself on the back when you know you’ve done an outstanding job. What you think of yourself is far more important than what anyone else thinks! Thinking good thoughts for you!
C.
Thank you for sharing Carolyn, that was very insightful. How did you or do you continue to work through the stressful time? Glad to hear things are a bit better. You are right in saying that I should learn to see the qualities I have developed. Thank you for the advice.
I sometimes feel that way.
Sometimes, cause I’ve learned a lot from this feeling. I’m someone who needs to create cause my mind is constantly in need for action. And since I’m a dancer, been booking shows, formed a group had to lead it since..I kinda had that responsibility even tho my main goal was to form a dance group and have fun performing..Ihad to take care of meetings, dates, shows, calling others..
I’m mostly my own boss and its always like I’m always looking for a new task, it’s just how I work.
And I used to feel like, people didnt recognize the hard work behind everything I’ve done, I used to feel unappreciated..and what I’ve learned from this is that, I made these choices. I chose this lifestyle, I dont think I’ve chose to live with such stress..but it came with the choices I made. So for me to feel unappreciated is normal..but I had to accept the fact that, no1 lives for me. I had to become my own best friend to congratulate the work that I did.. I had to look back to my accomplishments and be proud of what I’ve done, I touched people..so yeah I did the right thing..I deserved the love.
Its nothing selfish to feel like you need attention, to be recognize,it’s human, it’s normal..we work hard for our dreams to come true, so YEAH we wanna have the love we need to pursuit them.
Everytime I feel unappreciated, I look back to the good things Ive done,people I touched, things I’ve learned from my failures and mistakes and I congratulate myself, since no1 else does it. Do it for yourself. Haha!
Bravo Me. Bravo You. We Deserve it! That’s life..
When you figure out how to deal with this please share as this is something that i deal with not just in my professional life but at home as well. its become almost expected now that women are supposed to work and maintain a home but so much so that nobody appreciates it anymore. i go through my days like a machine, no ambition, no drive. it gets to a point that u question ur abilities and in my case self-worth. it can be a real kick in the ass to your self-esteem.
Sikk, glad to know I am not the only one. Thank you for taking the time to share. You are right in saying that, these are the choices we have made for ourselves, I completely agree with that. Congratulations for being your in control of your destiny, and taking things into your hands. The closing message really touched me, I don’t take enough time to congratulate myelf. I will start applying that as well. You deserve it too ! Brave you !
Hi Mafa,
How are you holding up girl. I am taking it day by day, one of our readers Sikk posted something below that I found interesting that I will share with you, she wrote “Everytime I feel unappreciated, I look back to the good things Ive done,people I touched, things I’ve learned from my failures and mistakes and I congratulate myself, since no1 else does it. Do it for yourself. Haha! Bravo Me. Bravo You. We Deserve it! That’s life..”
That is such an integral step that I often forget to take. With work I would say, just like my post today rather than complaining about it I noticed that I could always improve my craft, regardless of whether or not others appreciated my worth. Based on the 10,000 hour rule by Malcolm Gladwell I have realized that I nearly close to being an expert at what I do. As for the situation you are going through at home, I think you need to find a way to make time for yourself. You have to by all means, set some time aside to do you. Have you ever tried to do that? Maybe starting once a week or when permissable. It is important to guard your self-esteem with all you have, because it is all you have. Once you have lost that, you won’t be much good to anyone.
Let me know how things are going lady, I am here if you need me.
Hey Krissy,
things have been crazy. hadnt had a chance to come back on here until now. thank you and Sikk for sharing those words. it def is something we forget to do. i believe its human nature to dwell on the negatives and we lose focus of all the positives. as for my problems at home *sigh* im at a loss girl. im 27 going on 60. i know that the lack of time to take care of me is a big problem for me. but thats just it…its a problem for ME. nobody gets it so nobody helps me have that time. as much as i appreciate not having to cook a meal or having less clothes to wash when my mom helps me out, its not quite what i need. its really shitty when u lose ur sense of being a woman. being sexy and feeling beautiful. no time. never any time. anyways thats my little rant for today. thank you for taking the time to read them and reply =) something so small means a great deal
Hi Mafa
Sorry for the late reply. I hope the words were able to help a bit… Check out this post also, really inspired me yesterday http://www.thebrokenheeldiaries.com/2009/11/04/inspiring-words-from-will-smith/ . Hope I can help, thank you for sharing with us, you are welcome anytime.