Wednesday night I was talking to a guy on the phone, we are getting to know each other. So far so good. Conversation is flowing, then out of nowhere we start talking about travelling and I express to him that I want to take a lot of trips in 2010.
Here is how the convo. went:
Guy: “Are you going to take me with you on your trips ?”
ME: “UH NO !?!” I mean I just started talking to this guy, why would I bring him on trips, besides I have never brought a guy on a trip with me before. Surely if I was in a serious relationship with someone I would take them on a trip.
Guy: “Why not?”
Me: “Well would you take me on a trip? Why would I take you on a trip when I don’t even know if you would”
Guy: “That was a test and you failed, now I know that you are selfish and wouldn’t do anything for me unless I did it first”
Me: “That’s not right, that’s not how this works. You can’t ask a question with hidden motives and expect the answer to apply. What is this grade 2 who tests people????”
I didn’t even know what to make of this part of the conversation. First I thought to myself, how old is this guy that he has to “test” me? I never knew we were playing a game. I don’t feel bad for my answer, I feel bad for not saying that I think HE should be taking me on trips. I don’t expect a man to take care of me, but I surely don’t want to take care of a man. Him asking the question that way made me feel that he was looking for me to take care of him, which is probably why he got the answer he got.
If you are asking someone a question with a hidden agenda, or without explaining that you have a hidden motive I doubt you are going to get an answer that corresponds with your question. I believe in observing a person’s actions but testing them? Seriously, that’s too much for me. Two days later I am still confused, because everything was going well with our few conversations, now I am bothered by the fact that he thinks testing me is ok. I can’t help but think how many tests has he already put me through without me knowing, or how many other tests will there be. That makes me feel uneasy, and makes me feel as though I can’t be myself now. Who wants that?
What do you think? How would you deal with a man that was “testing” you? Have you deal with a “tester” (lol) before?
