We were like Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years when were young. We were so innocent, everything we did was you and I all the time. Then we grew olderm I started to feel out of place with you, which was weird because I had known you practically my whole life. I moved away, we grew older and suddenly we became like Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Biggs.

Everyone says I am too forgiving when it comes to you, I give you the benefit of the doubt always. Why? I am still not sure but I always want to believe that you have good intentions, despite the number of times you may have failed me in the past. One thing is for certain, things in your past can’t be erased or denied. No matter what happens in my future, I know that I could never let go of that part of my past. It really was the beginning of how I became the woman I am today. You always made me believe that I would make it through the hard times to become exactly who I needed to be. Even when I didn’t believe it.

I am coming to town on Friday for the holidays, you volunteered to pick me up from the airport. I am so excited to see you, at the same time I am afraid to be let down again. We have both moved on and have other people in our lives. When I listen to you speak about her, I can’t lie I get upset. I am happy that you are happy but I guess I can’t help but remember all those moments where you let me down, broken promises and were less than a good boyfriend to me. How did you become a good one now? How do you know all the right things to do now? All though I don’t want a do over it hurts to see that you learned how to be a perfect boyfriend FINALLY ! (after all these years)

So here we are almost 18 years later, my have we grown. I think I give you the benefit of the doubt because I knew you before you became a man. I knew you before we even knew what doubt, heartache and pain were. It was so innocent. So I decided against everyone’s will to give you another chance. If I am again let down by you, I will be so embarrassed that I won’t even be able to tell anyone about it. I will just keep it to myself and only have myself to blame.

Once upon a time, you were the only person that knew me inside and out. Once upon a time I was the only person who knew you inside and out. Now, we are back at square one, trying to learn to trust each other again. I hope that it works out, heartache and pain aside, I would love to have you as a friend and shoulder to lean on for as long as I can.