Written by krissy December 17th, 2009 | Published in Broken Heel Diaries | 7 Comments
This morning, I had a little situation that was so surprising I had to share it with you to get your thoughts.
I have been talking to a guy for a few weeks, we haven’t been able to set up a time to meet due to his schedule and mine conflicting. Saturday, we were talking and he asked to come over around 4am. I told him no, I am sleeping but I will give you a call tomorrow. Sunday came, I gave him a call and told him we should set up a time to meet since I am going away on Friday. He agrees, out of nowhere he states “Just to let you know, I have no expectations of having sex when I call you at 4 am and want to come over. I am the type of guy who goes with the flow, and believes that whatever happens happens.” (RED FLAG I should have seen from a mile away but didn’t)
I thought to myself, good cause I am not looking to put out on the first time that we hang out together. I tell him that I am free Sunday night and we should meet up, he suggests we meet at his place. (Why I went along with it, not sure) I was willing to get to know him, I found him attractive but surely didn’t think that we would be having sex that night. Once at his house, he again stated that he wasn’t expecting sex. GREAT ! I thought, I don’t like to feel the pressure of knowing that’s what is expected.
I am gonna pause the story here and say, the main problem here is what goes wrong when people don’t state their expectations from the beginning. If he would have told me “Krissy, I just want this to be physical and I am expecting to have sex with you if we hang out”, I could have accepted that. That way, the cards would be layed out on the table, and ultimately the decision would be up to me as to whether or not I wanted to go with that plan.
Back to the story… He wanted me to sleep over and I told him I wasn’t sleeping over. I don’t sleep over at a guy’s house on the first night. What’s up with that? So I went home but told him maybe we can meet up during the week. Monday don’t hear from him, Tuesday don’t hear from him, yesterday he text me “Hey How’s it going?”. I did not reply til the end of the day, because I felt that he could have reached out before that if he really wanted to see me before I left on Friday.
Here is how the text convo. went- you tell me what you think:
Guy: I’ve been pretty tired for the last couple of days that’s why I haven’t called you. I’ve also been thinking about what happened between us on Sunday, and I think if we were meant to be together in that level it would of happened a long time ago. I don’t really believe in platonic friends but I think you can make me a believer. *insert smiley face*
Me: Are you serious? So when you said you weren’t expecting sex, you were. I am not apologizing for not putting out as fast as your used to. It would have happened a long time ago, when? In which context? In the future you should learn to be up front about your intentions. What you said is hugely in contradiction to what you are saying now.
Hmmm… What’s up with that? Is it just me or is this guy on some next level? Who did he think I was? Either way, I don’t even want to know, NEXT PLEASE.
" -krissy
OMG ahhahahahahahah!!
Okay I’m laughing for two reasons:
1. Because I’m on the same page as youà
2. I experienced something VERY similar to that a month ago!
We just went in the movies & I ended up at his place watching an excellent french movie..and came the time where he started playing with my mind. I think that’s what that dude you met did by repeating that he wasn’t expecting sex. He was. They’re mind are twisted.
The guy then asked me…ÉDo you wanna go home, cause IDK”
At this very moment, I knew what he had in mind & I played his game.
I ended up sleeping at his place since it was very late and I was tired…he started playing w/ my hair and all that..I knew he wanted it. And he didnt get it. Matter of fact…WE DONT TALK ANYMORE! HAHA He called like 2 weeks later, I called once, then he started saying that he would call me back (knowing he wouldnt) and that’s that.
Lol men, know exactly what they’re doing girl! ahahhahaa
It’s not my type to play with them..cuz teasing them too much is a turn off haha, but hey they are the ones putting the cards on the table. F*ck U. haha
I have to say is that WOW!! What the heck was he thinking? I always thought it was even questionable to give a kiss on the first date? I guess my little girl innocence is coming out. Was he confused with his last weekend’s tart from the bar which he got his booty call from. I am glad you made the decision that was right for you in this situation. I think players need to play and get it out of their systems. I have had enough of players. I think when a player approaches a keeper (someone who want a relationship which could be open to marriage) it throws the balance off in the universe. Is there not enough women out there that actually love and care about themselves to want to be in a relationship before sleeping with another person? The love dance is an interest one. You have to keep dancing until you have the right rhythm together. In the end it is worth it to have love so keep trying. I know I am….:)
Hmmm…interesting.
I can respect a man that is upfront with what he wants…
but for some reason, I read his text a little bit differently, yes he was not forth coming, but it almost seemed as though holding to your moral standards may have earned you his respect… or maybe I’m wrong.
Keli, me too. I wish more men were upfront. Maybe you are right, either way NEXT lol No love lost but keep it moving.
Linda, I have no idea what he was thinking. I wasn`t looking for anything serious either, but that text thew me off. I like that line “You have to keep dancing until you have the right rhythm together”, well said.
So funny that you went through almost the same situation Suzie, the most important part I think is sticking to your morals regardless. You were able to do that, so I think you won. They do know exactly what they are doing, hence why I feel they should just say it.