I do it all the time. Despite where I am in my life, whether I am content or not I will sit there and just agonize myself with What if questions. Over and Over and Over again. What if I told him I loved him sooner? What if he never went away? What if I went away with him? What if I didn’t ask all these questions? What if I never broke his heart? What if I didn’t play games with his emotions? What if I never get him back? What if he comes back? Sometimes I want to yell STOP IT ! LMAO I will call my guy friends who normally listen to my what if questions, I have learned that they only listen because they know how to tune me out. Once in a while though they will answer the phone and say right off the top, “Is this one of those calls where you are gonna What if me to death? I am not into it today”. I think its very funny.

I have to admit though, nothing healthy comes from doing that, for 2 reasons: 1- You can never completely be in the present if you keep asking what if?  2- You will never get an answer when you want it.

Reason number 2 is the most difficult for me to deal with, I want answers right away, when I have questions. The whole concept of waiting until life decides to show me answers to my questions is still hard for me to grasp. I have been told repeatedly that you just have to accept that you can’t know everything when you want to know it, and that you won’t know it.  Instead of driving yourself mad trying to solve the mysteries of your future, try living in the present moment more. That is the only way to avoid regrets in the future, that will turn the What if? into What if I hadn’t…? What if I had…? That will be even worst  shoulda, coulda, woulda yourself to death. So make the most of the moment you are in, live it to the fullest. Live the life you want to live, regardless of any other factors, all you have is the life you imagined you would live. So make sure you honour yourself first.

Do you go through this as well? Am I the only one?