He said She said | BHD - The Broken Heel Diaries™

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He said “In their twenties women choose men, in their thirties women have no choice to accept that they can no longer choose men. Men will chose them now”

You can only imagine the expression on my face when I heard this. What do you think? Do you think there is any truth to this? I had to sit and really reflect on this for a while. I did a bit of ground work, I asked some of my male friends what they thought, not suprising, they all AGREED. It seems from their perspective, that in our twenties, we are more selective and have high expectations of the man we would like to be with. According to them, the closer we get to our thirties and are still single, we develop such an anxiety that it pushes men away. We feel our clock ticking, and they can hear it and run. They say that because of this, women then enter their thirties at the “Mercy” (in their words) of men, and now have to wait for a man to choose to be with them.

Does this make any sense to you? Am I the only one who doesn’t fully get this?

I say that it can go both ways, I am not in my thirties yet, I sometimes meet men in their mid thirties who seem so eager to be dating a younger woman. What does that say about them, that they are in their mid thirties and no one wants to be with them?

What are your thoughts on this?

carolyn

I think that would be the view point of a very young & immature man. Probablly one that’s very shallow. Besides look at all the young guys that are hooking up now with older women!I think some men would like for us to believe that, that after 30 we’re lucky if anyone even looks our way, it’d sure make it alot easier for them wouldn’t it and some men are afraid of confident women, but a real man knows there’s nothing sexier! lol! and who says we have to have a man to complete our lives! A woman is better off alone than settling for Mr. You’ll Do cause I’m running out of time!
http://twitter.com/roshine Ro’Shine

I am going to have to agree with your friend on this one. I have seen it with my own eyes in the circle of women that I grew up with. When they were in their early 20′s a lot of them were picky, and were turning guys down left, right and center. They knew back then that they pretty much could have any man then wanted, and why not? They were beautiful and intelligent. Well with time, but beauty began to fade, and intelligence is nullified with the irrational behavior of a woman who has been through many failed relationships, and now senses that time is running out to be with the right man.

Now I don’t know the exact statistics, but here in Canada there is something like 20, 000 more black women than men, which is quite favorable to black men. If he stays out of jail, be successful in his career, not have too many babies, he can pretty much have any woman he wants by the time he is in his thirties and established himself. At this point why would he want to be with a woman with potential baggage? There are plenty of younger fish in the sea, and they are looking for a man just like him.
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http://www.thebrokenheeldiaries.com krissy

What an interesting topic. Carolyn I agree with you %100 whether or not that statement is true for some women, I refuse to think its a statement that applies across the board for every woman. I think that agreeing to this would then mean that when I turn thirty I have to sit here and wait for any guy that chooses ME. I have a big problem with thinking that I have to wait for someone to choose me. I think its up to both parties to “choose” or agree is a better word to be together. I also agree with you Carolyn, that a woman is better off alone than settling for Mr. You’ll Do cause I am running out of time. That is a high risk situation. I believe that men would like us to think this also, its their way of getting back at women that didn’t want to be with them when they were ready. I mean there is no guarantee that the woman THEY “choose” will want to be with them.

Thanks for your comment Carolyn.
http://www.thebrokenheeldiaries.com krissy

Of course you would agree as a man, thank you for sharing your point of view though and reading. I appreciate it. I agree with you on the fact that when I was younger my expectations were much higher, I think that’s with anyone. With time you start to look for more realistic expectations of a potential partner. Sure we have been scared by some of our relationships, but not all of us carry that bagage forever. Time is never running out to be with the right man, because when the right man presents itself, we will be ready to be with him. Unless we choose to be single, or don’t want to wait. I don’t think that we don’t have a choice. I think its obvious that as a woman, if you feel you are running out of time, and carry bagage from the past, then its inevitable that you are indeed waiting. Key word here is WAITING, a woman should never feel that she is WAITING for a man to rescue her and to make her life complete. In that instance, she is not waiting to be chosen, she is waiting for a guy that is good for her.

Just my thoughts.

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