They say its important to look back to move forward. That’s just what I did this afternoon. I looked back at my first post on this site, just to remember my thoughts when I first started the blog. I thought it would be nice to share with you, in case you are just joining us, so you can get an idea of who I am and why I started The Broken Heel Diaries.
Welcome !
THIS IS ME – September 20th, 2009
N.B. All posts will not be this long, don’t want to bore you. I just wanted to give you a fair introduction. Welcome !
I started this blog because I find at times that people are afraid to share who they truly are. Instead we are so quick to share our successes but don’t want people to see our “broken heel moments” afraid they will think less of us. I believe those moments make me who I am, they are my story. I am single; I am in my late 20’s and everything I have ever dreamt of being somehow manifested itself. The path to what I wanted has never been easy. With every goal achieved, I have set new ones and continue to work towards them.When I was 19 I was kicked out of my house and vowed to myself that I would make it against all odds. 
I have been taking care of myself for the past 10 years now, on my own. What I didn’t know when I was 19, was that a lot of the goals I had set for myself came with a great deal of challenges. No one ever cared to mention what went into having that position; I used to dream of having, no one would share any of it with me. So I decided I will share those moments with people and I hope that I can help along the way. The only thing that kept me going is that I knew I couldn’t fail myself, my dreams were all I had. Looking back now, I learned the hard way, I don’t regret a minute of it, but it wasn’t easy. I embrace my broken heel moments because they are part of who I am. They are part of who we each are.
Earlier this summer I went away on vacation feeling broken from life. I didn’t know what I wanted more, everyone thought I was doing great and I was amazing. Somehow I didn’t feel it anymore. I didn’t want to wake up for work to the point where it was making me physically ill, anxiety attacks and migraines. I was a mess, crying all the time. I just wanted to put my whole life on hold and hide in my room and cry.I didn’t know why, I couldn’t figure it out.I was broken; I didn’t think I was where I should be at this age, despite how many great things I had achieved.I felt alone, like no one could understand what I was going through. I wanted something more but I didn’t know what that was. Somewhere along my trip, I realized that I was afraid. Afraid to embrace the biggest broken heel moment there is FEAR. I realized that the fear I was hiding was making me unhappy, it was making me sick. I was disinterested in everything and everyone. So I said to myself, when I come back home, I want a new beginning. I want to do things differently. Little did I know just coming to that realization was going to change everything. The saying – be careful what you ask for is indeed true. When I came back I left the love of my life(The Scientist) who had been in my life for the past 6 years.I don’t even know how it happened, the words left my lips without me even noticing. I let go of a friend I had known for 16 years (Jacob two two), don’t know how that happened either but I made the decision he had to go.
I came back to realize that the life I have is not the one I want and my job as great as it may be, has run its course. For once I made the decision I had to leave; staying at my job was unhealthy for my growth.Talk about new beginning. I let go of all the things which represented comfort in my life and was left alone. I was still scared but I knew that this was truly a new beginning since I had to start from scratch without people and things I was used to. I even got a new place and moved into a new area, desperately needing a change in scenery. I remembered that I loved writing and was great at it and that I really wanted a blog. So I came up with this idea “The Broken Heel Diaries”. It comes from my heart; it comes from a real place. Not tainted by anything and I hope that by doing something from the heart that I will truly find happiness.
Within a week of getting back I was already hard at work on Broken Heel Diaries. Tears in my eyes, feeling sad from all the things that were once there, that were now gone. I took a pen and a paper and started working on this project. Blood, sweat and tears. I put all my emotions into this project, hoping that I can help a few people, who may come across moments like these. I want women to know that it is ok to feel broken sometimes; the trick is not to let it.
I believe that this is my therapy; writing has always helped me through difficult times.
Embrace your broken heel moments, I do! Even with tears running down my face, I know that they are just moments that eventually pass and that there are better moments ahead.
Krissy Heel
Editor in chief
