WE CO-SLEEP!
There I said it. We have been doing it for 9 months. Yes folks, break out your gavel and let the judging begin. We do it all through the night and into the wee hours of the morning. Let the record show that this is some of the best sleep that I have ever had in my life. For my son as well, I am certain of that. Let the record also show that I am not promoting co-sleeping, but simply stating what works best for us and by that I mean, what allows me to get some sleep. Before my little guy came, I spent many hours standing in his newly decorated nursery, hovering over the plush and fresh-linen laiden crib. I envisioned my freshly swaddled baby spending many hours in delicious sleep. Ah the peace! Ah, the comfort! That bubble, like so many pre parent visions, popped along with my water on January 28, 2011.
New parenthood is perhaps one of the cruelest, yet most endearing times of life. Never in life does one need to be more alert and responsible with high energy reserves. Yet, never in one’s life will you be more sleep deprived. Sleep is the new currency exchanged between my partner and I. It is also the topic of so many sore conversations. Our journey to co-sleeping was not traditional. My son was born with a complex congenital heart condition. He is doing very well, thank you very much. In his 9 months of life, he has had 2 open heart surgeries with one more to go at age 3. His condition required us to spend the first 4 months of his life in hospital. The very months when sleeping patterns start to form. Evan, like most babies, was born with his nights and days flipped around. Add 4 hour vital checks as per hospital policy and active days when nurses and doctors constantly stream in and out of his room to check, check, check and we simply could not set a sleeping schedule for Evan.
Out of this chaotic time, came a pattern. I noticed that Evan was already associating cause with action. Perhaps being the mother of a child with a heart condition forced me to pay more attention to every little nuance. Disturbances and sometimes pain was reinforced by a nurse or doctor popping in to perform necessary vital checks or draw blood levels for countless tests. I also realized that Evan would drift off to peaceful sleep while in my arms or when placed next to me in my cot at the hospital. Each time, we would make our way to the crib and end up with a constant screaming mess. He knew at this tender age, that in my arms, he would not be disturbed. One night, I decided to save myself from roaming the hospital halls at Sick Kids’ at 3am so that he could sleep for an hour in my arms. Instead, we settled in on the cot together surrounded by pillows and chunky cushions to break any falls. I tucked his 5lb body into the crevice of my arm. Hours passed and Evan finally had his first stretch of night sleep, albeit, only 3 hours as he was still feeding around the clock, regardless, he slept at night.
Once released from hospital, we continued our sleep ritual at home and continued seeing positive changes: a happy, thriving and more secure child. Instinctively, I would awake for a few seconds each hour and check on Evan, then would go back to sleep, comforted to see the rise and fall of his little chest. Similar to hearing a drain pipes settling in the house. I found myself awakening, validating, then immediately falling asleep. My partner was also able to get some rest so that he could function at work.
As Evan’s feeding habits are now stretching out through the night, he is spending more of his sleep time in his crib and playpen for naps. This is about listening and trusting the natural clock inside showing us that it is time to try something new. This may not be the path for you, but don’t fight it or be ashamed if it works.
If you decide to co-sleep, do everything in your power to ensure your child is safe such as providing appropriate bumpers at the edge of your bed to prevent night rolling. Under no circumstance should you attempt to sleep with your child if you drink alcoholic beverages before bed or use any sleep inducing additives. Do not try co-sleeping if you are a heavy sleeper. Many experts recommend using a side sleeper or bassinet next to the bed. This can provide the same effect. When it comes to securing sleep for you and your little one, co-sleeping is an option that has worked for many centuries.
With that I say Good Night!
