One of these so-called obligations is a family trip.  Every August, my immediate family, as well as grandparents and cousins, head back across the Atlantic in an effort to, well, to just go really.  It began as a trip my grand folks would take, and seemed as though hitchhikers piled on every year.  This year we were 18 strong.  It’s a big family.  Huge, in fact.  The trip generally starts in Sardegna (or Sardinia).  For those that have not discovered this not-so-little gem, I cannot recommend it enough.  A one-hour flight out of Rome, it really offers everything.  Beaches, food shopping, quaint little port towns.  Definitely a destination to put on the list.  Maybe it’s the carefree attitude or maybe the wine, but I could swear I’m picking up the language more each year.

Upon landing in the town of Olbia, the area known as Costa Smerelda is your playground. Literally translated as the Emerald Coast, this northeastern shoreline strip is a thing of beauty. Crystal waters dotted with ships and yachts from all over the globe and constant elevation changes let you feel as though you were removed from whatever distant land you hail. (Side note: resist the urge to throw your Smartphone into the water and just turn it off.  You are eventually going back home, right?)

Our particular home base is Porto Cervo, an area developed as recently as the 1960′s. It offers great restaurants (local fare, including sushi) and shopping, as well as the marina to walk along and digest a meal while staring aghast at maritime marvels.  I cannot recommend the local wine enough.  Among the personal favourites was Cannonau di Sardegna.  Free of sulphates, lovers of a nice Pinot Noir will truly be in flavour country.

Besides the glorious beaches, a boat tour is an absolute must.  For around 800 Euros, the captain of your vessel will show you (and up to 7 others) a day not soon forgotten.  Part of the day is spent soaking in the local sites, such as Roberto Cavalli’s home, while a good time involves diving into pristine waters in remote locales.  My personal favourites are the rock collections.  After years of sea faring winds, the local topography has taken on some interesting resemblances. From the rock of Italy (shaped like the boot) to Elvis (yes, The King himself), it does not require too much imagination.  Lunch options abound, with ports such as Palau and La Maddalena.  Particular establishments aren’t of importance but wherever you do end up, don’t bother ordering.  Let the man or matron of the house take the lead.  Thoroughly satisfied, I guarantee a pleasant nap on the ride back.

However, if you are anything like me, city life begins to beckon.  After 10 days, I was ready for the urban setting of Rome.

Click photos to open gallery

As I said in an earlier article, I want to have everything even if it’s in small doses. However, each time I add something new it takes away from everything else. It’s a concern because I don’t have a husband or kids or parents to care for, yet. How do some women make juggling all these roles seem effortless?

I did some research & found some great answers.

I recently joined a mentoring group and female corporate bigwig turned entrepreneur, Cindy Gordon (of Helix Commerce), met with us to chat about her experiences and offer advice.

There were a few key points that really stood out:

• Always ask to be coached ~ mentors are gold
  • This is something I do and I agree with, it’s one constant that always helps me understand my next steps
• Be assertive in communicating your goals
  • Assertive is NOT aggressive ~ invite a mentor or boss to discuss these somewhere you’re comfortable, you’ll always be more honest on your turf to communicate
• Network the hell out of your age group
  • Friends in different departments can always open doors to higher places while understanding the place you’re at in life
• INVEST IN YOU
  • This was such an incredible point Cindy made that I wanted to take some more time on:

As a female, you tend to put a lot of emphasis on other people before yourself. This is important, as you obviously want to maintain your relationships. But beyond this you need a balance. You need to take that one night a week to say, “tonight is my night,” and do whatever makes you feel relaxed and recharged. We all want to be the best we can be, and this means making time for ourselves too!

Without a doubt I would return to this lovely place over and over again, eventually making my way across its entire span. There is much to see and experience, and beautiful Spaniards to look at.

Click photos to enlarge.

During an interview, we’re almost always asked, “do you work better as an individual or in teams?” It’s a conundrum of a question; it requires the perfect answer, falling somewhere in between the spectrum. It’s also an important question not just for the interviewer but the interviewee. Your work life accounts for about 33% of your time. The amount of time invested in this role and subsequently those who you work with influence your ability to perform.

While completing my Master’s degree at the University of Waterloo, Jackie Lee, founder of Shopable.TV, spoke to our Entrepreneurship class. She told us, “When considering a job, not only must you be the right fit for your manager & the company, but they need to be the right fit for you.”

What I really took from this excerpt is that your work colleagues are like a family – and it’s one family you get to choose. It was an ‘a-ha’ moment for me and as a graduate-for-hire it made me feel as though I had some control.

Learning this made me ask questions in interviews about management style and the potential of meeting senior level advisors to determine if it was my best-fit place.  I would have never done this before – too afraid to ask – but I truly believe it’s a beneficial component of the hiring process.

My feelings were reaffirmed when I came across this Globe & Mail article – as it turns out working with the right manager is a critical factor of employee motivation. To boot, the human resources panel were impressed and appreciative of my proactive approach and respect of their time.

Nowadays, I always try to think of any work colleagues as a second family.  I have found it useful in communicating, adapting to behaviours and motivating & being motivated. Thinking this way allows you to change your perception of the situation and instead focus on a mutually beneficial understanding of the relationship between the role, the team and you.

Jennifer Lopez sits cheerfully in the chair of New York’s most controversial radio station. Are you Charlamagne tha God? She asks the co-host, better known for ripping the show’s guests apart (just ask Cassie – Diddy’s ‘new’ girl). Maybe it’s Lopez’s bubbly disposition and/or flawless beauty but on this particular morning, Charlamagne praises her as the original great ass, before Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé. Lopez all giggles, well in her 40s, put a blazing career on hold for a family life, but the original vixen, the megastar is back and she letting everyone know. “There’s only one coca cola, baby.”

Lopez was off the radar but it was only a matter of time before the lion beat down the cage. She’s released seven albums to date – all of which have gone platinum. For many that would be well and good when you consider the competition: younger, fresher with fewer responsibilities. But Jennifer, the bonafide workaholic wasn’t about to let a husband and twins get in the way. So with the help of RedOne (the man behind Lady Gaga’s signature sound), her most recent single On the Floor, will be her ticket to the diamond-encrusted throne yet again. The video – with over 100million views on YouTube – is reminiscent of Lopez in Waiting for Tonight but with some Jenny from the Block attitude. In addition, she’s a celebrated judge on American Idol, and rumour has it she’ll make an appearance on Glee. It looks like 2011 will bring about the proper comeback Lopez has anticipated.

Another trending topic is her eleven-time indictment into People magazine’s most beautiful list, this year she’s the most beautiful of them all.  “I feel honored. I feel not worthy, you know? I feel happy and proud. Proud that I’m not 25!” And it’s easy to see why: she doesn’t look a day over 30 and she’s rock solid.

She’s had Louis Vuitton ad campaigns to boot, and a succession of unsuccessful relationships – one with Ben Affleck that nearly tarnished her career. And during this time, after reaching the pinnacle of her career, Lopez had to take some time to re-establish herself and rebuild her career. Luckily, she reunited with singer/songwriter Marc Anthony. “Some people are big enough to make those changes when loves comes along. He is, and he’s made me realize that I’m also that person. So we make each other better.” She’s now a devoted wife, and mother of two beautiful twins, Emme and Max.  With all this and a new outlook on life, things  are paying off for Jennifer Lopez, and for that, we salute her.

Kalista Zackhariyas is an actor, mother and philanthropist. Hailing from Sri Lanka, living in South Africa and Europe, she now calls Toronto home. Yesterday was the premier of her new movie Snow about a Sri Lankan girl dealing with relationships and her family in the aftermath of the tsunami.

Kalista gave us a peek into her every day life and gave us some of the best advice we could imagine:

You don’t always have to aim for the impossible things in life, but whatever you go for, always aim one step higher. Aiming for mediocrity will never get you anywhere.

BHD: Where do you find the balance between being in entertainment and being a mom?

KZ: Routine and support are the two key things in being able to juggle a lot. I do have a very strong support system around me and I make a point of having really good routines with my kids. If I keep them grounded, they keep me grounded.

BHD: You’ve travelled a lot, and moved a lot, born in Sri Lanka, South Africa and Europe – any type of cultural traditions you’ve picked up along the way that you still practice now that you’re in Toronto?

KZ: We still have some of our Sri Lankan traditions with us. We never really started following any type of African or European traditions. These have helped me keep more of an open mind. I’m sort of a global melting pot really. The way I think and perceive things is more European than anything else. We don’t follow many traditions other than those in the Sri Lankan culture. We have cultural traditions like somebody’s wedding or a major event in the family.

BHD: Snow is your first official feature. How exciting has this last month been? You’re in Cinqfest and Reelworld, has it been a whirlwind? Or have you just been waiting for this moment?

KZ: You took the words out of my mouth; it’s a whirlwind, an absolute whirlwind. It’s funny because when I first came back to this industry about a year and a month ago, I took a very long break, I wasn’t sure I would get this role. It was the first audition I’d had in ten years. It was for practice, go out there, feel the rejection. I didn’t think that I would get it at all. I got a call back and ended up landing the role.

Because I came in with no expectations, this is all such a bonus.

BHD: Was it all meant to be? The storyline regarding the Sri Lankan tsunami and the girl’s relationship with her family is very relatable to you.

KZ: The character is actually from the same hometown I was born in. That I thought was fate. I don’t always follow signs, but I thought – that’s a sign!

BHD: You took a pretty long break. What did you do to fill your time and made you come back?

KZ: As a regular parent I wanted to support my children with a creative outlet – I became an interior designer.

BHD: Was it fulfilling your need to express yourself?

KZ: I don’t think I ever stopped being a performer. I always promoted things with my kids. I love being animated, I goof off a lot. I just knew it was always a part of who I was. Subconsciously I knew I would always come back. But no plan of when I would come back.

I have a tremendous sense of faith – everything will be okay and things will happen as they’re supposed to. Don’t chase too hard. My children have taught me that. When it’s supposed to happen it will happen.

BHD: You’re fully trained in martial arts – how has that influenced your disciplined or your raising of children?

KZ: It’s taught me to be diverse. I can be an actor, a martial artist, I can diversify myself in many ways and areas. If I really apply myself there is nothing I can’t do well. I’ve gotten major confidence and it’s transferred into being a parent.

The children see an example of ambition.

BHD: Has this helped you in your movie roles? If there’s stunts to do?

KZ: I love doing my own stunts whenever production will let me! I feel it adds a lot more authenticity. I feel like I can do, it’s whether or not they will let me is a different story.

BHD: You’ve worked a lot with activism and women and children, what is the name of your main foundation?

KZ: I haven’t named my foundation yet – it’s a pretty colossal plan! I’m implementing and fundraising this summer. It’s for women of abuse who find it hard to acclimate to every day life when they leave those situations. They are very controlled.

Small things, like going to a work interview, these women don’t have the confidence to do so.  I’d like to build a long-term living facility – counseling, living, and services.

I’m starting to get a lot of support from my colleagues and the industry. In terms of location, it will be determined by where the support advises me to build. It’s a big plan; it won’t happen over night, but will come to fruition within the next five years.

There are an incredible amount of women who feel overwhelmed by being independent; we need to help them persevere.

BHD: Who’d be a dream person to work with?

KZ: Ben Kinglsey – I love his performance when he was Ghandi – I was sold.