This has been by far one of my most challenging years. I lost my relationship and my job in one big blow and had to get through all the emotional turmoil that came along with that, of course all while having to take care of my girls. Even when I was at my worst though I knew that I was becoming a better and stronger woman in the process, ladies we are capable of withstanding more blows then we are given credit for. Sometimes an emotional and mental blow can weigh and hurt a ton more then a physical one. I have now come to accept my separation and the fact that he is not coming back and I’m OK with that, I won’t lie though, I still need my closure. It still hurts like hell. I feel like its time for me to renew myself, leave that woman I was while with him in the past and just carry the lessons learned and the positivity forward with me. Read more…

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Yesterday night, I was having a conversation with my friend and we noticed how we were being passive about a lot of our goals. I noticed that when I was younger, I would think I had all the time in the world to get started on my goals. Now I feel that I know better, and that knowing that I want to do these things is no longer enough, I have to put my plan into action. It’s almost like looking back at the last 20 years and putting together the pieces, learning from the experiences and applying them to the pursuit of our goals. This is all part of the self-renewal project, and I am happy to know I am not the only one. My friends  and I also feel as thought all of a sudden we are 18, in the sense that we are sitting with a blank canvas ready to create the next stage of our lives again.

I spent many years of my career waiting around for validation. Waiting for a boss, or superior to tell me that my work was good. In doing so I failed to realized that I was giving way too much power to someone who couldn’t possibly care about my life as much as I do.  I waited years and years… Earlier this year, I finally came to realize that I was waiting for something that was unlikely to happen. I spent a lot of time, doing the best I could, waiting for others to choose me, approve me and give me permission to progress in my work.

I am not denying that receiving feedback is important, getting others to know the value in your work is important. What happens when they don’t see it as you do? Do you then stop believing that you are good altogether, because they haven’t validated your perception of your worth. I think there is a big difference between accomplishing goals and realizing that you work means something. If you have something you want to do, DO IT ! Don’t wait for someone to tell you that you are good enough to do it. All that matters is that you believe you can. After seeing how much time I wasted waiting for validation, I have taken things into my own hands and decided to do something about it. There is no reason anyone should wait for someone else to decide if they are worthy enough.

Have you ever been in a situation where you were waiting for validation in your career?

“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self – assessment and repentance that demands personal honest and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”

-Eric Zorn

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Part 1 : Making lists

I was sick today, but took some time to work on myself. As I previously wrote, I am making a commitment to work on myself.  Setting new habits, kicking out the old with the new. I signed up for the gym, got myself a trainer, and even did my first pilates class last night. There are definitely some habits that were not contributing to me feeling better. SO, out with the old. Do you do this as well, setting new habits? What do you do to get over your broken heel moments? Do you have those?

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