We should feel happy at all times, well most times anyway. You ever get really happy and then you let something get in the way of your happiness? I have, so I decided to put together a list of things that can make you happy, or keep you happy.

1. Stop “Hatin’”

I know the term “hatin’” is overused but seriously, stop being mad at people, stop holding grudges. Forgive … You have no idea how much weight all this hate and anger is causing you.

2.  Let it GO !

Stop worrying, let it go ! You worrying about this is actually only causing you wrinkles in your face, loss of hair, ugly skin and a whole bunch of other things that happen when you stress out. Just breathe, instead of worrying about it, try doing something to fix it. Forgive in your heart and keep it moving.

3. Make time for yourself ALONE

The hustle and bustle of life can take its tole. We all need some time alone, to ourselves to regroup. I know I do. Every so often I just need a time out, with no sound, no one speaking, no bbm, no internet. Just silence. This helps your restore inner peace, which leads to you being more happy. You should try to do this at least once a day.

4. Socialize with kids

I know this one sounds silly, and you may be wondering where I am going with this, but bare with me. Kids say the darnedest things, while I don’t have any of my own yet, when I am feeling down and am around kids I feel much happier. Not only because they are too cute and funny, but it reminds me to focus on the simple things.

5. Live in the present

Makes no sense to agonize over things you have done in your past that you aren’t so fond of, or to worry about what the future may hold. Before you know it, you have forgotten to live for today. Be in the moment, seize the moment and make the most of it. That moment is the only one that is guaranteed.

I have one of those, and for a long time I protected it with everything I had, I was afraid to lose it. Maybe I was afraid to be alone. Today, I woke up and I felt that it was drifting away, I’m not sure how I knew but I sensed it in my heart. At that moment I came to realize that there is nothing that I can do about things not going my way, absolutely nothing. I mean I could want with all my heart, but if its not meant to be, then it won’t be. So why be so afraid of losing it. I should be happy if it seems that its walking away, because then I know that something that wasn’t for me, is no longer in my life. Isn’t that better than having someone in your life who doesn’t want to be there but doesn’t know how to tell you.

I put down my armor today, I was disarmed, and I accepted the fact that more than wanting to have my way, it is important to understand and accept that your way is not always what is best for others.  I broke the cycle, I am disarmed.  I hope that one day God ables me to get my heart’s desires whatever it may be, just for the fact that I am disarmed and am letting things progress on their own, without forcing anything. I hope that what is for me, will truly be for me, whether or not that is what I want right now.

“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.” – Aristotle

I was reading an article that posed the question “If you could live  10 years of your life without pain, living in total bliss but you wouldn’t remember a thing- would you do it?”

I would opt not to as I think the experiences we go through, painful or not create our story. Each of those experiences contribute to the person we are. According to Aristotle true happiness comes from gaining insight and growing into the best person your can be. Otherwise you are only creating instances of instant gratification, which dont last and don’t contribute to your growth.

What do you think?

 When I was reading The Zahir one of the most interesting parts of the book, is when Paulo Coelho describes the accomodating point. Reading this made me understand things in my life differently and look at things from a different point of view. Here is his explanation below from his blog on – The accomodating point. Tomorrow I will write how I find that it relates to my life. I thought it would be best to first here from him, what it really means.

Enjoy !

Published on February 11, 2010

Paulo Coelho

In one of my books (The Zahir), I try to understand why people are so afraid of changing. When I was right in the middle of writing the text, I came across an odd interview with a woman who had just written a book on – guess what? – love.

The journalist asks whether the only way a human being can become happy is to find their beloved. The woman says no:

“Love changes, and nobody understands that. The idea that love leads to happiness is a modern invention, dating from the late 17th century. From that time on, people have learned to believe that love should last for ever and that marriage is the best way to exercise love. In the past there was not so much optimism about the longevity of passion.

“Romeo and Juliet isn’t a happy story, it’s a tragedy. In the last few decades, expectation has grown a lot regarding marriage being the path towards personal accomplishment. Disappointment and dissatisfaction have also grown at the same time.”

According to the magical practices of the witchdoctors in the North of Mexico, there is always an event in our lives that is responsible for our having stopped making progress. A trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, disappointment in love, even a victory that we fail to quite understand, ends up making us act cowardly and incapable of moving ahead. The witchdoctor finds and gets rid of this “accommodating point”. To do so, he has to review our life and discover where this point lies.

Why?

Because, according to the story that we were told, at a certain moment in our lives “we reach our limit”. There are no more changes to be made. We won’t grow any more. Both professionally and in love, we have reached the ideal point, and it’s best to leave things as they are. But the truth is that we can always go further. Love more, live more, risk more.

Immobility is never the best solution. Because everything around us changes (including love) and we must accompany that rhythm.

I have been married to the same person for 30 years, but methaphorically speaking, the same marriage contains several “new marriages” during our relationship. Our bodies and souls changed, and we are still togeher. If we wanted to keep on as we were in 1979, I don’t think we would have come so far.

*article taken from here

“How did we make it here?” , “Where ?” pretending I am completely oblivious to the fact that we are walking arm in arm, happy as ever, walking past his old apartment from 7 years ago. He answers “Here ! You know this place, where we are, this stage, how did we get here?”. I think about this for a long moment, and maybe I am so happy to be with him, I can’t even think of the HOW, all I know is it feels absolutely divine. Him and I together it has always felt right. I didn’t really care to know how we made it here, as much as I cared to just remain here. I guess to remain here, I would have to find out how we got here.

When I saw him last night, there was no doubt in my mind that this was my man. I felt so peaceful, I felt so happy, I didn’t want it to end. His touch gave me shivers, walking holding on to him made my heart smile. I didn’t want him to go back (away to school). I wanted to tell him to stay, I knew he couldn’t. I wanted to tell him to come back, I knew he couldn’t. Mostly I wanted to tell him, that I was ready and that we should do this. Then I decided not to rush the speed of things but I really didn’t think we needed further proof that we were both completely head over heels for each other.  I didn’t say any of those things, but when I felt the urge to, I spoke them silently to myself. I know that there is a chance that he may have known all along what I was speaking in my heart.

I think I know how we made it here: real love, patience, faith, lots of forgiveness, truth. Here is to us continuing to be here, here is to you lifting me higher. As I went home, although I knew that he would be gone in a few days, I felt an incredible sense of strength. I asked my friend  “Does it sound silly to say that his love makes me stronger, because I really feel it does” she answered “It’s not silly if that’s how you feel”.

One of my happiest memories is when the Jill Scott album first came out, he gave it to me. I fell in love with this song, and every morning when I woke up I would play this song. It was such a great song for how he made me feel, and even better song to wake up to.

I digress… I am in love, I am happy. kthnxbye

*image from Weheartit.com

Sometimes if not most often, I believe that people should say what they mean to say. I can’t imagine anything worst than living your whole life, witholding how you really feel about things, keeping it all to yourself. Life is too short to not share what you are really feeling with others. Last week, I took my heart in my hand or I put it on my sleeve I should say and poured it all out. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to do it, because I knew they wouldn’t understand. So… I did it. I wrote it out, in this blog to free myself of my thoughts. I didn’t think he would read it but he did. Turns out he more than read it, he loved it. Reading his email on my post made me so happy !  We were able to reach a new level of understanding, that I don’t think we would have reached if I didn’t take the chance to say what I meant to say. Sounds cheesy I know but trust me, sometimes you just need to say what you feel like. Without thinking about the consequences, without thinking about anything other than freeing yourself of what you have been holding on to. I feel so liberated now that I have done this.

Him and I understand where each other are coming from, I feel free and happy about it. This would surely not have happened if I didn’t take the time to say what I wanted to say without worry.