Nothing like a handwritten letter, touches the soul ! Last Wednesday My. Mr. left to go back to school, and he mailed me a letter before boarding the plane. Every morning like a little girl, I would rush to the office hoping to see it at my desk. Friday I walked it, and found the envelop on my desk… SUPER HAPPY ! Yes corny I know, but I need corny and mushy to feel happy and balance out the negativity around me. Read more…

They will never understand us… why bother, it’s just you and I. I can’t expect you to understand why I love him so much… I can’t expect you to understand what he means to mean and how I am able to deal with our situation. It’s just for us to understand.

What I do know is that I am glad that I always listened to myself when it came to matters between him and I, as no one could possibly advise me on my heart’s matters. When everyone told me this was a dead end, I knew it wasn’t. When everyone told me that I was crazy and he had no good intentions for me, I knew they didn’t know what they were talking about. I don’t know how I knew but my heart told me and I listened to my voice. I may have doubted it sometimes but a little part of me knew that my heart wouldn’t lead me wrong. Read more…

It takes a lot of courage to love wholeheartedly, it takes a lot of courage to let someone love you wholeheartedly. Somehow I think it just hit me this past Saturday that what we have is just as real to you as it is to me. Don’t get me wrong I knew what we had was special, but I didn’t know you were THAT serious ! I was always afraid that me revealing my future hopes to you would make you run away. Instead to my amazement, you bring up those conversations and I stand there terrified because I never thought I would hear it. Who knew… I guess I worried myself for nothing. Read more…

Read this on Mastin Kipp site today, thought I would share.

Love will do the rest

Beginnings are never easy
So much is still unknown
So many desires seeking fulfillment
Collide with the patient trust that
Everything is as it should be
Love does not rush
No masterpiece ever does
You do not plant the seed of a rose in the morning
And ask it to blossom by the afternoon
Lust is the first one in
And the first one out
But love…
Love is cool, calm and collected
It plays tricks on you to keep you honest
Love is a patient comedian
Who helps you to get over the fearful ego
So you have the fearlessness to BE with yourself and another
I do not ask for easy beginnings
Because I know that the One meant for me will stick
With no effort on my behalf
There is no striving for love
There is no convincing love to stay
There is just you
Your fearlessness
And trust
Love will do the rest

Copyright 2010 Mastin Kipp

I loved for a long time, I loved really hard, I let love improve the content of my character. I allowed loved to show me faith, trust, patience, understanding. I still love you, but I am out of cards to show you, all my love cards are on the table. This time, its your turn to love me. Meet me halfway and love me… I am going to let you love me now. It’s your turn.

In just about 4 weeks, My Mr. will be gone back overseas to school. I am his biggest fan when it comes to the sacrifices and dedication he puts forth towards his education. I would never tell him not to leave, just as when he began medical school 2 years ago I didn’t tell him not to go. I think its admirable that he is so focused on his academic achievements.

This is the first time since he has been here on holiday that we haven’t gotten into any disagreements, normally him going back to school is much easier because we aren’t on speaking terms. This time around is a bit different. I wish he didn’t have to go, I got used to him being here. Not only is it 4 weeks until he leaves, its 4 years until he is done school. What I have learned over the years is, when you truly love someone you support them in their decisions although it isn’t what you would like to see  happen immediately. So I am learning, I am being as understanding and supportive as I can. I can’t help it that I want him to be here, and that I wish those 4 years were almost done. Read more…