I haven’t always made the decisions that others thought I should have in my life, but I made decisions that I thought at the time were the best for me.  I was content when I made those decisions, even if everyone else thought I was out of my mind. I was happy to follow my own instinct and create my own path.

Last week, I had a conversation with my mother and it made me think about things. Her and I have had a difficult relationship in the past, which after years I learned to forgive. I have also learned to understand and accept that she will not always say the right things. Often times she uses words that cut me like a sword, but she doesn’t realize the impact of the words she chooses.

With time, I have learned not to react to her harsh words, and instead calmly try to explain to her how they make me feel. Last week she said to me in a conversation “You have made no forward progress in your life, you are getting old now and I think you should rethink your life over, and think about all the bad decisions you keep making” Read more…

Hope everybody had a great Easter, enjoyed family time, the great weather and the abundance of chocolate (I’m stocking up on all that Easter chocolate going on sale). I had time with my family, enjoyed some good weather but also experienced what I think has been one of the most difficult parenting broken heel moments I’ve encountered yet. It’s very unfortunate that it’s the negative experiences the ones we learn most from.

On the Saturday we had AMAZING weather so I decided to go visit a girlfriend of mine with my kids, my sister and my mom. We ended up meeting her at a park that’s near her home so that the kids could enjoy some time outdoors, all in all it was an alright afternoon. All until I noticed my oldest daughter (7 years old) being cornered on a park bench by one of the other mothers that was on the playground with her kids. I was on the phone at the moment but I was close enough to overhear this woman scolding my daughter and question what she (my daughter) had called her son? I witnessed my daughter sink into herself and in a small voice tell this woman that she didn’t say anything to her son… Read more…

For every step forward I make in my relationship with my mother, I feel that the wounds I thought were healed aren’t fully healed as yet. I love my mother, despite everything. We had a very trying few year, I wrote about here.

The older I got, I realized that I needed to make the effort to make the best of the relationship we have. So once in a while, I make plans to meet with her. Ever single time I do, I brace myself so that my old wounds don’t open again. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. Tonight I invited her over for dinner, we had a great meal, great conversation. Just when it was time for her to go she said “You could have been so much better in life if you had listened to me, If you hadn’t made us kick you out of the house”. Those words came through like swords. They pierced me deeply, and instantly I could feel old pain coming back.

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